I really hope i realize what I'm getting myself into. The pressures, the differences and the disagreements. I don't know what it is about him, but I always find myself back in his path. I never let myself get close enough, but this time is different. He really seems different, like he really wants to change his ways and settle down. If that really is the case, then I will gladly give him a chance, which I am, I just hope I'm not wrong. I hope he's being sincere. But the things he says...he's a charmer. I've always been good at knowing when someone is just saying things they don't mean to get what they want, but his voice sounds so real when he says it. When he says he wants to straighten out and be with someone real. When he says that for the first time in a while, he actually cares about something more than himself and his brothers. When he looks at me in the eyes and says that he really wants things to work with me. I'm different. I'm not like all those other girls. Apparently I'm real. I can't believe I'm falling for his words. I can't understand it, but I am.
We're going to get so much shit for this.
No one will understand it. They're going to kill us. Well, they'll taunt me and kill him. All the guys will tell me that he's not going to change. I can hear it now. At least I know that if he does play me and I end up broken, they'll break his face. I love my boys.
I'd hate myself if I didn't try and see what happens. The worst that can happen is him breaking my heart. And i've already gained that state of mind where i've realized that every guy I'm with will hurt me at one point or another until I find the man I marry, and even then, he'll probably break my heart once or twice, i'll just actually stuck it up and live with it.
But still, I hope I'm ready for this. This could be total chaos.
