Things are spinning out of control. I'm loosing it. I don't know what I got myself into. God, what have I done?
Things have been going good with him. He makes me happy. No one has given us too much shit like I thought, or at least not to my face. He seems sincere. I believe his words.
They tell me to follow my heart, not my head. Well fuck. I've never been good at that. I can never really figure out which one is coming from my head and which one is coming from my heart. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
My thoughts are killing me. They are my killers. I need to get away. I want to escape. Leave nothing behind...
I know this makes absolutely no sense. My head is just not where it should be. Good thing all this that I write is for my own self.
I am not a saint.
I am not a bad person.
I am not an alcoholic, damn you.
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