Day 2: Cry Little Sister...

"A picture of you and the person you used to be close with."

Here's to my brother, Lee...

When we were little tiny babies (err, kids?), I can't say we were super close. He and my sister lived in Ft. Worth, TX with their mother (he's my "half-brother") and so I only got to see them every once and a while. But then sometime later, he moved here with my parents. Now, he's quite a bit older than me, 10 years to be exact, so I obviously looked up to him. When I was about 12 years old, things really changed for me. I became angsty, angry and over emotional. I started listening to metal, dressing in black and eating alone. Seeing that I had no friends, I really turned to my brother for company at home. Not to mention, we had one big thing in common: Music.

Everyone always tells me that the only reason I became a so-called "metalhead" is because of Lee. Well, I can't completely discredit him. He was after all the one that introduced me to most of what I listen to. But I did start kinda listening to it wayyy before he was around. It was just meant to happen! Well, so he was always introducing me to new bands, when he started a band himself, he invited me to his band practices, we would go to shows together, etc etc. I'd say we became real close after that. Closer than most full siblings I knew.

Then at the beginning of 2009, he and my dad had a huge falling out. I won't go into details, but it was bad. Eventually, that meant that he and I had our own falling out since I defended my father. The last thing I said to him was that if he claimed that he didn't have a father anymore, then he could claim he didn't have a sister either. We went almost 2 years without speaking to each other...

It amazed me how we could stop speaking to each other like it was nothing. I was so angry with him at first that I pretended not to care. If he wanted to be a childish asshole, then fine, so be it. That attitude lasted maybe a year. It eventually just turned into hurt for having lost basically one of my best friends.

In November of last year, we finally started talking again. It happened the day before his wedding when my sister Shana talked me into calling him to at least congratulate him. It was incredibly emotional and I was terrified to speak to him. But everything worked out alright. We both apologized to each other and confessed how much we missed each other. He even invited me to his wedding the next day. Now THAT was an emotional meeting, but it was wonderful. Since then, we have tried to stay in contact regularly; a phone call a week or so. Unfortunately we have both been so busy that the first time we were able to see each other since was just a few days ago at a Skinlab show.

Things definitely aren't the same between us. We've lost that "closeness" we had before. I can tell we are both trying to go back to the way it was before, though. Hopefully in time it will be. Till then, I'm just glad I have a brother again...